I'll Overlook A Lot If You're Topless

She may be gross and slightly mannish, but she is showing nipple. And she's not fat.

She's Got More Class in Her Labia Minora Than Most Women Do In Their Entire Bodies

For the record ladies, peeing is not sexy. Pooping on the other hand -- GRRR!

That's Weird -- I Remember Abba Being Taller

And white.

Like a Living Ad for Masengill Douche

Her not-so-fresh areas include her entire body.

Her Customs Are Strange, But She Seems Friendly

This is how they say hello in Denmark.

Sexy X 2

It looks like someone photoshopped some beach chicks' heads onto dudes' bodies. My boner is confused.

She's So Young and Innocent

I envy her, not knowing all the terrible things I'm going to do to her. Must be nice to be so naive. Quick, somebody call the police before I murder again!

I Used to Think Karaoke Was Boring to Watch

But then a couple things changed my mind.

1) Her lovely singing voice
2) Her stage presence

(That joke never gets old.)

Cameltoes Are Better When They're Shiny

If her shorts were any shorter, I'd see her ovaries.

Still Better Than the Time He Woke Up Face-Down in the Nana's Friend's Lap

Although Mr. Johnson was very gracious about it...

"All My Years of Sniper Training Have Finally Paid Off!"

How come when this guy sneaks up on girls in a ghillie suit it's funny, but when I do it, it's attempted murder?

Skank Johnson Always Thought People Were Judging Her By Her Looks

She'd get even more comments when she hung out with her friend Whore Velasquez.

"Wonder-Douche Powers, Activate!"

"Form of -- an ice-dong!" "Shape of -- a putzy macaw!"

This is Almost a Fantastic Picture

Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not nice to tease. Play nice. Share with others.

Would You Believe All of These Guys are Confirmed Bachelors?

This is probably some band that I'm too out of it to know of. But objectively, they look like the kids the nerds would beat up in my high school. And I should know. I was one of those kids. I have to go cry now.

What the Inside of My Closet Looks Like

Except there's more blood.

For the Ladies/Homosexuals II

Who ordered a side of sausage? This guy looks a lot like me, except I'm in better shape and my dong is bigger.

"If I Find the Guy Who Put Superglue on this Pole..."

I guess this is how Goth kids take their yearbook photos. Mine featured me with my foot on a giant wagon wheel. 'Cause I'm 100% country (and a little bit rock 'n' roll).

The Perfect Downblouse Self-Shot

It's at a high-angle, making it hard to tell if the girl is a pig or not, it focuses on her cleavage, and her bangs obscure her face, which is probably reminiscent of the craters of the moon.