"Hello, Have You Met My Left Breast?"

"His name is Reginald.  He's a Capricorn and he enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and nipple clamps."

Leelee Sobieski's Less-Attractive Cousin

The scarf makes her cleavage classier.

She Laughed and Laughed...Until I Killed Her

Anyone with a duck pillow deserves to die.

Alice in Bonerland

No wonder Lewis Carroll was a pedophile.

Make It Clap

You ever wonder if a rapper buys a Clapper and tries to have a girl operate it with her butt-cheeks?  Me neither.

When They Left Sears Portrait Studio, They Accidentally Took the Monkey Home

That's a good-lookin' kid.  What'd he come with a free bowl of soup?

"You're Getting a Handjob Whether You Like It Or Not!"

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"One Two Three -- SAUSAGE FEST!"

Nary a girl to be found.