I'm Turned On Now, But If They Start Screwing, I'm Outta Here

I thought dogs were supposed to be man's best friend.

That Reminds Me, I Have to Get My Mom Something for Mother's Day

Also, I need to cancel my Thursday 4:30 appointment.

"Okay, I Need You To Get Him To Offer to Sell You the Baby On Tape. Then We've Got Him!"

I think the last girl I slept with was wearing a wire.  At any rate, there was a cord coming out of her butt.

"Why Wont' Kinko's Hire Me?"

All he wants is a nice girl who's into The Cure, darkness, and dying children.  Is that so much to ask?

The Abortion Worked Wonders for Haley's Figure

She's got those cut lines on her stomach that point straight to her va-jay-jay.  Sexy.

"You Said My Pizza Would Be Here In Thirty Minutes, Punk!"

She cocks her shit to the side 'cause she's gangsta.