I Won't Tell Her She's Singing Into a Hairbrush If You Don't Tell Her I'm Peeping In Her Window

It's my own version of American Idol. Except it's only "televised" on the Internet in PervertForum.com. And the soundtrack is just the noises of me abusing myself and breathing hard.

When I Said I Was a Twink Into Bears, This Wasn't What I Had in Mind

That's the last time I leave my infant cooling on the window sill.

I'm Moving to Iceland (Or Wherever the Hell This Is)

Can someone please figure out what language that is on the poster and email me? Thanks.

Danny Was Having a Blast Until She Drove a Nail Through His Foot

That's what you get for hiring workers out in front of Home Depot.

Dances With Pies

I think she ate the other nine little indians.

Joke's On Them, the Other End's Connected to My Pants

"This tobacco tastes like dirty underwear."

We've Got Two Arms and Two Legs, We're Just Missing a Couple of Chromosomes

Is skank hereditary?

You'll Find Me In Da Club, Bein' A Fat Tub

Somebody's gettin' lucky tonight.  (Hint: It's whomever avoids sleeping with her.)

He Was Unable to Make a Saving Throw Against His Virginity -5

On the plus side, his Vorpal Blade gets him a 10% discount at Wendy's.

Smells Like Teen Spirit. And Chlamydia.

"Naughty Little Schoolgirl" is a look that will work for a thousand years.

Even Gayer Than 300

"Auribus teneo lupum."(1)

"No, those are my testicles."

(1) Latin for "I hold a wolf by the ears."  

Sometimes the Captions Write Themselves

She's a nice girl.  But I prefer her sister, Slutty.

Mom Was Sorry She Brought a Live Pokemon Home

Years later, Lucy would earn a lot of money for doing this to men's scrotums.

And I've Always Wanted to Bang a Supermodel

This is perhaps the most boring picture of all time.  Enjoy.

Good Thing They Got the Suspension Reinforced

Soon after, the owner came out of his house and chased her off his property.  Then he degreased his hood.

Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees, Look At These!

It's not racist.  She's retarded.

I Don't Care If She Is Incontinent, She's Still Hot

This is much sexier than going to the nursing home.

The Gun Says "Badass," the Dog Says "West Hollywood Gay"

"Don't be touching my shih tzu, ya'll."

Apparently, the Nazis Wanted to Identify Her Breasts as Jewish

That's the same outfit my mom wore to my bar mitzvah.