The Slutty Bodystocking, New at American Apparel

Seriously, what the fuck is she wearing?  A bathing suit over a leotard?  She's hot and all, but this outfit is uncalled for.

It Was Kind of Sexy Until She Shat

It looks like she's taking a picture of her vagina, peeing, and talking on the cell at the same time.  Now that's multitasking.

The Last Person in the World I Want Holding My Baby

He looks stoned and retarded.  Or, to coin a new phrase -- stonetarded.

She's Got a Ten-Gallon Hat and Five-Gallon Jugs

I'd like to brand her.  With my cock.  And, much like a brand, after sex with me women are red and sore.

Kilroy Was Here

Domo origato, Mister Roboto.

I'll Have a Douche Sandwich, Hold the Mayo

This guy's so greasy, he must be Italian.