"Hello, Domino's? We Need Six Pizzas and Nine Cocks!"

If only Domino's was like that.  A boy can dream, can't he?

What It Looks Like When I Come

Except usually there's more children.

Paris Hilton Lookalike Contest - Contestant #3

She's blonde, has a fake tan, and has the pose down flat.  But I'm gonna give the prize to Contestant #2 for the visible panties.

Paris Hilton Lookalike Contest - Contestant #2

She's blonde, super-skanky, and she's showing her crotch.  All pluses.

Paris Hilton Lookalike Contest - Contestant #1

She's got the slutty look, but she also has brown hair and one eye isn't squinty.

I Tried to Stick a Camera in Him to Spy on My Nanny, But He Bit Me

He and my Teddy Ruxpin fought to the death.  Poor Teddy.