She Gets My Meter Running

And I gave her a nice tip.  And by "tip," I mean the head of my penis, which is really all I've got.

Finish Frosting Him Already -- I'm Starving!

I've found that Asian children are the most nutritious.

She's Not Hot, Per Se, But She Is Just Wearing A Bra

It's a weird European bra, but still...

He Could Lose His Right Hand and It'd Still Be True

I should be kinder.  It's not nice to make fun of the retarded.  At least, that's why everyone says they're so polite to me.

I'll Wipe That Smile Off Her Face...

With my erection.

Julie Had a Pain in Her Ear, but It Was Just This Dude's Boner

What's strange is that she has baloney tits and she's in her early twenties.  You expect that from a National Geographic African, but not a girl from the suburbs.