Peekaboo!

I see your boobs! This is much more fun than playing with my nephew. Maybe I'll get him breast implants for his second birthday.

If We Don't Get the Money By Midnight, the Girl Dies

Shouldn't she be holding up today's newspaper?

I Get That You Paid a Ton for the Extensions, but Move Them Already!

She has her pubes straightened too.

That's Not Jean Fringe

She's wearing 97 tampons. Don't ask why.

Ride 'Em Cowboy

This is like one of those situations where a guy falls between the subway track and a train. His guts get compressed and spun around, and he's still alive. But the moment they take the train away, his lower half unspins loose like a wound-up plastic grocery bag and his innards fall out. So hopefully this chick won't leave, and he'll have a comfortable life next to the jukebox.

Your Choice - Rub 'n' Tug $19.95

Ah, Thailand. Is there truly a better place on earth? Yes. Pretty much anywhere that's not Thailand.

Where are Mother and Speed?

If she smeared any more Vaseline on the lens, she'd be Cybil Shepherd.

While Sally and Julie Wrestled, Randy Slammed the Two-Ball in His Side Pocket

We got into this whole blogging thing because we love sophisticated humor.

She's Got Bedroom Eyes and a Buddha Belly

Ladies, this is the self-shot pose where you think you're fooling us that you're not morbidly obese. "I'll show some cleavage and take the picture from high up. No one will notice my nine chins." Wrong. We know you're fat. So at least show some titty.

Thank you,

The Management

Like Muppet Babies, Only with More Ecstasy

This is why I stopped doing ecstasy. Because everything about rave culture is puerile and idiotic. "Oh, my hair feels so good. Do you have any Vaporub? That dude doing the glow stick dance rocks!"

Sometimes, It's Just Too Easy

Seriously, it could only have been worse if she was making love to a bakery.

If My Girl Looked Like This, I'd Shave Her Ass and Teach Her to Walk Backwards

This chick's got such a butterface, it comes with an Amish kid and a churn.