Oopsy Daisy!

This is like Marilyn Monroe in "The Seven Year Itch" meets the trannie parade down Santa Monica Boulevard at 2 a.m.

The Hint of a Nipple, the Crack of a Whip

The tiniest hint of a nip-slip is what pushes this picture into the "art" category.

Nipples Need Exposure Too

I like seeing the other 80% of your breast, but show some nip too.

This Guy Really Gets My Goat

The odd thing is, he's not a mascot or anything. That's just how he rolls.

The Rib-Bone's Connected to My Weiner

That's why they call it a "boner."

I Got My Picture Done at the Target Photography Studio Too...

But it didn't look anything like this. I did get to kneel on a giant block though, so that was cool.

Artsy Lesbianism is the Best Kind

The second best kind? Non-artsy lesbianism.

You Can Wear a Bandana As Much As You Want, We Still Know You're Balding

It's hard to believe this guy has his own TV show where chicks still want to bang him. Poison was cool for about four weeks in the 1980s. I gotta start a recording career, I guess.

You Don't Want to See Where She Put the Rabbit's Foot

Does this mean that her left breast is unlucky?

And They Say Digital Killed Film

Clearly, how else to better capture a washed-out, topless skank than with old fashioned 35mm film? Look at the grain, look at the subtle lighting, look at her underwear.

It's the Bra of the Tiger, It's the Thrill of a Tight (Pussy)

Yeah, I know that really doesn't work. But still. Tits. And Survivor. Fuck yeah!

"It's Not Bad Enough I'm Dying, I Have to Put Up With You Two Assholes Too?"

The one good thing about being terminally ill is that you can guilt your parents into getting you anything you want. Every cloud has its silver lining.

That Would Look Great On My Bedroom Floor

Seriously, though. Please sleep with me. I'm lonely.

Sexy Is as Sexy Does

I have no idea what that even means. But this chick is hot and she's not doing anything particularly wrong, so I didn't feel like making fun of her. So sue me.

I Could Go for Some Rich, Chocolatey Ovaltine

Her name's Ovaltine. And she loves it when you stick a spoon in her and stir.

Why You Shouldn't Let Your Three-Year-Old Bodypaint

I can barely make out her areolas through the barf-like swirl.

Wolverine Celebrates St. Patrick's Day

Everything was fine until he drunkenly tried to finger his girlfriend and disemboweled her.

"Does This Bandana Make Me Look Gay?"

No - your face does. Ay-oh!